Struggling with Spirituality in a Christian School

There is no singular definition of spirituality. According to the Merriam Webster, spirituality is “the quality or state of being spiritual”, but what does this really even mean, and does anyone know?

I grew up in a non-practicing multi-denominational Christian family and have always attended religious schools. Back in primary school, I took what I was told about religion and believed it to be the only and whole truth. I became interested in faith, but more importantly to me, I was interested in belonging to a group of people and as such, I decided to be confirmed within the Anglican Church; however, as I entered high school I began to find parts of the Christian ideology that I didn’t agree with. As I began to start questioning the way of the world, I found myself no longer relating to Christian beliefs and overall, began rejecting organised religion as a whole.

I remember as a Year 9 student, I did not always look forward to Tuesday morning Chapel sessions, even though they only came around once a term. Although I was going to a Christian school, I wanted nothing to do with religion, preferring to spend my time watching cat videos. In my mind, this created a divide between myself and the school - not necessarily the kind that starts conflict or causes problems, but a divide none the less.

This remained my point of view until just last year when I began Year 11. What seemed insignificant at the time, I now realise was a turning point in my attitude towards religion, and my introduction to spirituality. It all started in Year 11 Life and Faith with the lovely Mrs Duvenage. What started as a subject I assumed would be a waste of time, soon turned into one of my favourite subjects.

Now here I am, half way through Year 12 and a Spiritual Leader. I’m not really sure what I believe and that’s okay. I find that my beliefs don’t align with Christianity as well as they do with other religions, and that’s okay. I’ve found that personally being at a religious school has in fact helped me embrace and question religion, spirituality and their relationship between each other. Whilst it can be difficult and often taboo, you should never be scared of exploring your individual spirituality.