The Mary Poppins Conspiracy Theory: The Banks Family Tree

In the recent production of Mary Poppins, some people were wondering why Mrs Banks looks nothing like her kids.

It all started with Bert and Winifred. Bert learnt every trade, including acting and met Winifred in the theatre. It was love at first sight. One evening, George Banks came to a show and fell in love with Winifred. He was jealous of Bert’s relationship with Winifred, so he made a cunning plan.

George found a way of making sure that Miss Lark and Bert got together, and then clued Winifred in on this. She got so mad at Bert that she broke up with him and starting going out with George instead. Bert then became very depressed and decided to become a chimney sweep, so he could look down their chimney each night and see his darling Winifred.

Miss Lark and Bert had two children, but Miss Lark wasn’t ready for them. She decided to give them to Winifred, who willingly accepted (she was still in love with Bert). Winifred raised these children as her own, but George hated them because Bert was their father.

So, how does Mary Poppins fit into all this? She doesn’t, really. Once Bert lost all hope of seeing Winifred again, Mary became the special person in his life. Perhaps she came to the Banks family to fix the mess Bert made.